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MUM: If you were going to kill someone, what weapon would you choose?
ME: A dull knife.
MUM: Why a dull knife?
ME: You want to really mess someone up and make it painful? Use a dull knife. Sure, it's going to take a bit more effort, but it isn't going to cut. It's going to rip. It'll be painful, and if they survive the healing process will be a lot more difficult and painful. A dull knife expresses more anger than a sharp knife. A sharp knife is kind of the nice guy murdering tool, but if I'm going to kill someone I'm going to assume that I have finally snapped so I'd go for something painful and vicious.
MUM: Dear god, I've raised a potential serial killer.
BROTHER: Are you Mori-fucking-arty?
ME: A dull knife.
MUM: Why a dull knife?
ME: You want to really mess someone up and make it painful? Use a dull knife. Sure, it's going to take a bit more effort, but it isn't going to cut. It's going to rip. It'll be painful, and if they survive the healing process will be a lot more difficult and painful. A dull knife expresses more anger than a sharp knife. A sharp knife is kind of the nice guy murdering tool, but if I'm going to kill someone I'm going to assume that I have finally snapped so I'd go for something painful and vicious.
MUM: Dear god, I've raised a potential serial killer.
BROTHER: Are you Mori-fucking-arty?
Retarded Avengers OC (Avengewholock)
I have the most retarded Avengers OC. Like, omfg, I don't even see how she's a Stark:
Evelyn Stark had been told by John Watson about the TARDIS. She'd been informed about the controls, the programmes, the settings, the themes, the advanced technology put into it... Anything and everything that would make a typical Stark squeal and faint out of pure excitement. Saying Evelyn was curious was definitively an understatement. Matter of fact, she was MORE than curious; she was bemused with what she'd been told.
On a brisk morning in dreary, old London, Evelyn decided to make an unsuspected visit -- a cameo, in her own words -- to the infamous, b
Christmastime
I remember Christmastime from when I was four:
SANTA: And what do you want for Christmas?
ME: WORLD DOMINATION! MURDER! SUFFERING! PAIN!
SANTA: o_o
FATHER: Ah, I've raised her well...
My father was and still is a corrupted bastard.
Weeping Angels
Couldn't you just, like, blink one eye at a time. Like, you know, keep one eye open and blink the other and so on?
"The image will be etched into your mind and they can kill you that way."
Isn't that only if you make eye contact with them? I mean, if you look at them from different viewpoints every few seconds or so, and given that the image WOULD be etched into your mind, wouldn't it end up fuzzy due to vigorous eye movement and low levels of eye contact with the statue?
Yes. I've just found a way around the Weeping Angels.
Devious Journal Entry
"You're one of the smartest people I know!"
Because the smartest of people are the most depressed.
"You're one of the nicest people I know!"
Because the nicest of people are the loneliest.
"You have such a bright smile!"
Because the saddest of people smile the brightest.
"You're very wise!"
Because the most damaged of people are the wisest.
"Why aren't you ever ignorant?"
Because ignorance is bliss.
© 2012 - 2024 ShelbyGraceDrake
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